Third, such guidebooks present their contents (I am talking about this book here) convincing you that it has accepted what’s happened already and make you see what actually has happened making you see different scenarios with examples, and then give you the chance to choose what would happen next all by yourself. Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes, and outcomes. Behaviour research and therapy, 44(1), 1-25. Then, choose a goal which is related to this value—one which you’d like to accomplish, and which allows you to evaluate your progress. What personal ‘stuff’ might your committed action cause to arise? Try to break these down into three areas: a) physical and psychological feelings, b) unproductive/unpleasant self-criticisms or thoughts, and c) visuals and memories. As with all other self-help books I've read, I grabbed this one in a moment of intense distress—who read that stuff for fun anyway? I hoped it would point me where's north, and as such, it worked brilliantly. I read about the ACT approach before, so I knew what to expect. Even so I was quite surprised how Stoically the premise was laid in this book: mind what is under your control. You can't control your feelings, but you can control your actions, which should be value oriented. You can't control your partner, but you can control yourself. If you define "love" as an emotion, emotions come and go and you can't control them. If you expect that your partner "should" do something, you'll end up miserable because no one is obliged to your wills. But what if I strongly prefer that my partner become a better communicator? Or spends more quality time with me? These issues are also covered in this book, and the answer is extremely workable and reasonable.

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. New York: Guilford Press.The original exercise was presented by Russ Harris at the 2009 ACT World Conference and can be found here. 3. Milk, Milk, Milk Exercise John P. Forsyth “Beautifully written and easy to understand, the second edition of this highly successful book by a master developer of ACT is even more practical and relationship-enhancing. By diving into how ACT applies to a broader range of important interpersonal skills, this book gives you the tools you need to take your relationship to another level. Highly recommended.”

Family relationships – Like parenthood above, these values pertain to relatives like siblings, extended family, and so forth. Committed Action – This principle or process is about goal-setting, and the idea is that these are long-term life goals which are values-based. ACT practitioners can thus help clients commit to and work with engagement toward goals through action. Simon, E., Driessen, S., Lambert, A., & Muris, P. (2019). Challenging anxious cognitions or accepting them? Exploring the efficacy of the cognitive elements of cognitive behaviour therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy in the reduction of children’s fear of the dark. International Journal of Psychology. While our circumstances and psychological experiences might change, an element of ourselves remains stable throughout.Anthropologists are social scientists who study different cultures across the world; while they study diverse ways of living and being, they often remain detached from the phenomena at hand. Becoming an observer of your self is like being an anthropologist, but instead, you’re studying your own psychological and physical experiences. This Exploring Willingness and Commitment worksheet focuses in on one value that you or your client have identified. Whether it’s being a more patient father or working toward more integrity, single out one commitment and work through the following questions. To put things into further context, ACT has 6 central processes (Harris, 2006). If you’re already familiar with these as a helping professional, feel free to skip ahead to the worksheets in this section. What is the value that you’d like to bring more of into your life? A note: this should not be a goal, but rather something that you or your client find personally meaningful and important. Then, over a period of several minutes, invite them to try and suppress the unwanted thought, any way they might like to go about it. The third prompt on this worksheet asks them to approximate how often it crossed their mind through that brief period. In this space, make a note of it so this figure is visual.

PDF / EPUB File Name: ACT_with_Love__Stop_Struggling_Reconcile_-_Russ_Harris.pdf, ACT_with_Love__Stop_Struggling_Reconcile_-_Russ_Harris.epubLeisure and fun – What kinds of activities appeal to you for fun? How would you enjoy spending your downtime? What’s exciting for you? Relaxing? First, by noticing five things you see. Rather than getting caught up in feelings or thought patterns that might seem overwhelming, try to tune in visually – what’s here, outside your head?